Just another day

This is my last day off this week... *sigh*
I have to work 10-4 tomorrow, not bad, but 7am -4pm on Sunday, because I'm doing the books for the manager who is going to be gone. I LOVE doing the books... It's running the register and dealing with people that I hate...LOL
The son gets out of school at 11am today. Jeff should be here sometime, for an hour or two...
I told Jeff (in replying to an email from him, of course, I rarely talk to him anymore)that I wasn't sure if this was going to work out... I can't keep letting my feelings for him grow if we are never going to get time together. Especially when my feelings for R are growing (again).
I don't know if I will ever be able to get R out of my system... I know that there are those people around me that think he's not good enough for me... That I should divorce him and get on with it...
But how do you just walk away from 20 years of your life? Especially since we are getting along so well right now...
Maybe our plan is a good one... Get the divorce. Buy the house next door, fix it up, he lives there, I live here... We can still be best friends, right? That way the son has us both close...
I just don't know what to do...
I know that some people would say that he is holding me back, and maybe they are right... But who is to say that I would go any farther without him?
There have been times in the past when we have gotten close again like this... But it never lasts, and I'm afraid that this is going to fade again too...
Just like Lee Ann says in R and I's new song...
"Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want;
And even though we just can't make it work out, well the want-to lingers on.
So once again we wind up in each other's arms, pretending that it's right,
An' I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight."